I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
