if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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