you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
