yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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