Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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