He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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