Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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