biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Found the puke drawer
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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