i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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