the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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