Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
