Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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