ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
