I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
