just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
