I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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