Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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