I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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