Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
