Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
