I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
