i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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