So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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