i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Randomize
