3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
