halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
