I don't think brook has ever known best
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
