This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
