You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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