ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
