Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
