I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
