haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
