Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You ruined the universe
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
