The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
40s are totally the cure
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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