Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
