do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
These tits shall not be calmed
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
