Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
