i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
