Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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