we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
