someone get that fucking seahorse.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
