The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
