the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
All the doctor said was why
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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