Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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