I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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