i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
