better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
