I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
