Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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