Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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