I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
