Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
